S.ATIRE WEEKLY NEWS FEB 27TH – Brexit reassurance from Cllr T Fullophcrap

Welcome to the new weekly news digest for South Atire, a quaint English village in the heart of Wales. This weekly round up will give you all of the local information that you need:

– The village bake sale starts this Thursday at 2pm in the village hall. Villagers are encouraged to join the village to feast their eyes upon the various delicacies from the women of the village. Cakes will be available from 25p-£74.99, all proceeds go to the village’s magic circle.

– S.Atire police seek assistance from the public in relation to a number of public order offences. Youths have been seen congregating in the local park with a ball shaped object, outraged residents also reported “noise”  and flailing of arms. If anyone has any information then please contact the local police station.

– Brexit reassurance has been given by local councillor Terry Fulophcrap. Concerned local residents have inundated the council offices with several queries about the process and the impact on S.Atire, queries included the availability of Gołąbki, Pomana porcului, and baked beans.

Mr Fulophcrap said “I really can’t see a problem, Phil’s Phish Shop will still sell all of those things so don’t worry about it. I prefer Rissoles myself”.

Councillor Terry Fulophcrap BA (hons)

Thanks councillor for your reassuring words.

– The 2017 S.Atire and surrounding area Jobs Fair will take place in the Town Hall this Wednesday afternoon. Mrs Z Jones from the “Gotta Eat Em All” bakery is sponsoring the event, and is kindly donating a free mini corned beef pasty to all entrants. Job seekers can expect up to twenty jobs to be available with exciting jobs including Store Assistant, Head Chef, High Chief, Chief Chef and Trainee GP.

A picture from the 2016 Job Fair

– Dr Congo’s surgery hours will be:

  • 9.00-16.17 Monday
  • 10.00-14.45 Tuesday
  • 08.00-17.45 Wednesday
  • 09.56-09.59 Thursday
  • 10.00-14.94 Friday

Please note that the surgery is closed between Tuesday and Friday for essential maintenance. 

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